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Becoming a Veteran-friendly Church: Pacifists can do this too
Chaplain John J. Morris was in parish ministry for 20 years before deploying to Iraq. So he understands what prevents most churches from taking the first step to reach out to military staff and families. “Foreign policy—73 percent of America opposes the war. It’s controversial to touch. Most pastors already have plenty of crises. So why pour gas on a fire?
“Churches have to figure out how to do nuanced theology. How do we balance the gospel of peace with people who have volunteered in a war that a lot of clergy don’t think meets just war criteria?
“Some clergy wrap themselves in the flag. Some clergy hate the flag. In the muddy middle are all those who don’t know what to do. But in every church—left, right, and center—there are family members directly affected by the war who need support,” he says.
And those military-affected people, who can’t use theological or political debates to hold war at arm’s length, “have got a hurricane roaring through their lives. We need to do something for them, whether we like the war or not,” he adds.
Morris and other chaplains say most congregations are missing the opportunity of a generation by failing to become “military-friendly churches.” They call on churches to care enough to educate themselves, plan worship that helps heal wounds of war, and offer practical support to military people and their families.
Different culture, different war
Educating yourself begins with understanding how military culture differs from civilian life. The whole point of basic training is to “take all the things that individualize you and collectivize you. Everyone gets the same haircut. Then you lose your first name, because you have your last name on your uniform,” says Herman Keizer Jr.
Keizer is the retired director of chaplaincy ministries for the Christian Reformed Church in North America and chairs National Conference on Ministry to the Armed Forces, the largest chaplaincy organization in the United States.
He says few civilians understand the “pride, sense of responsibility, and camaraderie that happens in a unit. It’s powerful. These young men and women, they don’t serve for nationalist purposes. Soldiers fight and die for people next to them.”
A veteran of combat in Somalia, Afghanistan, and Iraq agrees. “In combat I have to depend on the 18-year-old behind me and take care of the guy in front of me,” says the vet, who asked to remain unnamed.
Compared to past wars, the Afghanistan and Iraq conflicts depend far more heavily on the National Guard and Army or Marine Reserve forces. Many so-called “weekend warriors” signed up expecting to train part time for natural disasters or to serve on active but non-combat duty.
In recent years, many National Guard and Reserve personnel have been essentially drafted, had their tours of duty extended, and, through the “stop loss” policy, been forced to serve beyond their enlistment contract.
Hard to face
Soldiers and civilians in war zones deal with horrific situations. If you can stomach disturbing images, you may watch a one-minute video of a roadside bomb or graphic photo of IED (improvised explosive device) results. You, of course, have the luxury of choosing whether to look.
The unnamed veteran says, "We can't walk away from it. We've chosen to take an oath. As a soldier, my job is not to question, it's to follow orders. I live with—every day—the sights, smells, and sounds of war…and the decisions I had to make with duty rosters or flight plans that put soldiers in harm's way."
These split-second, life-changing decisions in war breed more dilemmas. “This is a no-win, no-lose kind of war. In my own heart, I ask, 'What are we doing?'
"A big portion of soldiers think everyone's forgotten them. All we want to do is be remembered. We've got family, friends, brothers, sisters. We don't want to die," the unnamed veteran says. He suggests watching the five-minute video “Remember Me.”
Big opportunity
Ask John J. Morris what churches lose out on by ignoring military ministry and he says it’s “loving their neighbor. We military members are an institutionalized population. Any time you leave an institution and reenter society, there’s an adaptation process. The best missiologists will tell you we’re most open to spiritual care and growth during that process of adaptation and reentering culture.”
Morris finds that most military families are open to and need ministry. “You have the opportunity to help a generation, not just a church. We have a million and a half combat veterans from our current wars. We’re going to make more veterans before this is over. If every veteran has three people in their family, that’s a lot of people.
“Every war has taught us that veterans have an inordinate impact on society. So, if the church doesn’t seize this opportunity, it’s missing a generation,” he says.
Worship that Heals Wounds of War
More of his high school classmates entered the military than went to college. About a third of families in his small congregation have sons in the military. He’s judged American Legion oratorical contests.
Yet Bill Graham, rector of St. Mary's Holly-Rushville (Episcopal) Church in Nebraska, has been a peace activist for nearly 40 years. “I joined the Episcopal Peace Fellowship in 1969 and had a lot of trouble with the way we treated those returning from Vietnam,” he says. Graham also works for international peace through Nebraskans for Peace, Lions Club International Peace Poster Contest, and The Third Order of the Society of St. Francis.
You might think that he’d say nothing about war and peace at St. Mary’s—to keep the peace. But he bases his ministry and worship on “accepting all members of our community because they are children of God. That acceptance is independent of his or her military involvement. We are bound together through the love we share in Christ,” Graham says.
Along with military chaplains and veterans, Graham is convinced that churches need to include military concerns in worship prayers, rituals, and songs. This worship proclamation means even more when paired with practical support for armed forces members and their families.
Pray often and together
“The way to deal with controversial issues is with openness, honesty, and flexibility. Reasonable people disagree. We need to be honest with our opinions and always open to the possibility that we are wrong. This is true whether we struggle over preserving life (at both ends), sexuality, or supporting a war,” Graham says.
Though he rarely addresses such topics from the pulpit, Graham did so one Memorial Day, sharing ideas from John J. Morris’ Christianity Today article on how to help veterans. His sermon included a story about St. Francis of Assisi “when confronted by his bishop concerning his order’s vow of absolute poverty. The bishop said to him, ‘I think your life is too hard, too rough. You don’t possess anything in this world.’ Francis’ reply was, ‘My Lord, if we had possessions, we would need weapons to defend them.’ ”
Graham ended that Memorial Day sermon with this: “The moral thing to do as Christians is to offer our full support to those who have volunteered to serve in our military.”
And, as happens nearly every Sunday at St. Mary’s, he and the congregation prayed for soldiers. The way they pray depends on the form of intercession used that week. Often, he or a parishioner names the group in general and others follow by giving names of soldiers. Graham prays daily for military members from his church, community, and extended family.
It’s important for congregations to celebrate with service members who get promoted and to pray for their families, according to Keizer. “When family members separate, it’s difficult. Coming back together is also difficult,” says Colonel Keizer.
Keizer urges congregations to pray for all affected by war. “The church transcends national boundaries. The church of Jesus Christ is not to be identified with any one country or any one political system. Identifying the United States as ‘the city on a hill’ is Zionist and a problem. Remember that we have to be prophetic to our country too,” he says.
Praying for all affected by war means setting your congregation’s needs in a global context. So pray for church members in the military and for people in Iraq. Intercede for families grieving tragic death and combat injuries among coalition forces…and among Iraqis, who bear even higher casualties of the Iraq war, because so many civilians have been disabled or killed. Life has become unbelievably hard for Iraqi Christians.
Be agents of grace
Living in a time of war takes tremendous toll on the warriors, as journalists from Bill Murphy Jr. to Bill Moyers and Maxine Hong Kingston have chronicled. Soldiers and chaplains may come home disillusioned about war and questioning God’s love.
Laura Bender, a Methodist and Navy chaplain, wrote a liturgy for blessing deploying service members and a healing liturgy for soldiers returning from war. She says the idea grew out of reading The Code of the Warrior by Naval Academy ethics instructor Shannon French.
“Shannon describes how various cultures have rituals of penance and cleansing for returning warriors, to signify their reentrance into civilized society and reacceptance of the rules that govern that society.
“It let the warriors know without question that although they had, for a time, been required to live by certain, more barbaric, rules, that time was over. It was now time to release that experience to the past,” says Bender, now assigned to the USS New York, the ship being built with steel from the World Trade Center.
Bender’s order of service for a soldier returning home acknowledges “a deeply personal cost for being a warrior that few of us will ever fully understand.” In it the soldier says to the congregation, “I have returned from war—help me continue my journey home.”
Bill Graham says, “I’m a firm believer in the benefits of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, through which the burden of past sin and failure is lifted and peace and hope restored.”
Share communion, psalms, and song
Celebrating communion also heals inner wounds of war. Keizer served communion at every service he conducted in Vietnam.
“The message of the sacrament is more powerful than any sermon I could preach. In the brokenness of combat, I could give soldiers the broken body of the resurrected Christ. In their hunger for comfort in losing friends and dry mouth brought on by fear, I offered the bread and the wine of something radically new. Christ said. ’I am the bread of life’ and ‘I will not drink of this cup again till I share it with you in the new age.’ That’s hope!” Keizer says.
He explains that just as chaplains bring the shalom of the Prince of Peace to the battlefield, churches can help returned soldiers find peace in how Jesus experienced what they have. Christ faced temptation in the wilderness. He felt afraid and forsaken near death.
“For a soldier angry at God for a friend’s death, I introduce him to the imprecatory psalms and say, ‘God is big enough to handle your anger,’ ” Keizer says.
Worship songs relevant to war—and set to familiar tunes—include “We Cannot Be Dismissive” and “Seeing Death and Desecration” by Andrew Pratt and “Save Us, Lord, from War’s Illusions” by F. Richard Garland.
Even without military references, worship that is welcoming can help. “Mostly, it’s just being in the body of Christ. That’s where the healing happens,” says an anonymous (by request) combat veteran.
Church Military Support that Any Congregation Can Do
Even if you agree that churches should reach out to armed forces members and their families, you might think your church isn’t up to the job. After all, the news reports PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), TBI (traumatic brain injury), and other problems among returning soldiers.
But don’t discount what your congregation can do in military ministry. “Those issues make news because they’re “not normal. Most of us don’t come home with mental problems and TBI. Most of us come home overweight and bored,” says John J. Morris, a chaplain in the National Guard.
“The real problems we military members deal with are those every church deals with. We need help putting our marriages together again. We need help parenting again, finding a job, and going back to school. And we need to reconnect with God. So military ministry is not overwhelming or beyond the skill level of any church,” he says.
Your church ministry among military people and families can begin before deployment and include practical help and compassionate listening. You’ll also want to be aware of signs of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and TBI (traumatic brain injury).
Before and during deployment
“When church members leave for basic training, it’s important for the pastor to acknowledge that they’ll be going through a very intense, ‘wonderfully painful’ process. Most people leaving the service say it gave them self-discipline and helped them grow up,” says Herman Keizer.
He suggests churches stay involved with members away in the military. The military ministry at St. Alphonsus Catholic Church in Greenwell Springs, Louisiana sends cards, cookies, and gift packages to those serving in Afghanistan and Iraq. The military ministry at Our Lady of Mount Carmel Catholic Church in Osprey, Florida focuses on prayer and care packages.
When he was a military base chaplain, Keizer was often asked to baptize infants. “I’d call their home church and suggest they send a baptismal certificate for me to present on behalf of their church. That was meaningful to young people in the military. So if you know a couple from your church is at a base or overseas, and you know they’ll soon have a child, give them a call. Say you’d like to participate in some way.”
LaGrave Avenue Christian Reformed Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan dedicated a pillar in their narthex for posting photos, emails, and other news of military members. Often it listed them in the concerns section of the church bulletin.
When a service member is home on leave, especially before deployment overseas, you might ask her or him to stand and be prayed for.
Practical help
People at home need support while their loved ones are deployed. Through its care ministries, Hosanna Lutheran Church in Lakeville, Minnesota provides mentoring for children, lawn mowing, car repairs, and other practical help.
First Baptist Church of Norfolk, Virginia holds a monthly Military Wives Encouragement Group. Connection Pointe Christian Church in Brownsburg, Indiana began a Military Support Group for members with children in the military.
The military ministry at North Heights Lutheran Church in Arden Hills, Minnesota uses print, prayers, and displays to help the congregation keep soldiers in mind. Its Operation SAFE (Soldiers and Family Encouragement) includes a monthly support group for those left behind.
First Baptist Church of Belton, Texas sponsors more than a dozen military ministry projects, including Military Family Night Out and a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder support group. Shadow Mountain Community Church in El Cajon, California offers Bible studies and fellowship for military personnel and families.
The Catholic Archdiocese of St. Cloud, Minnesota has a military ministry representative in every parish that helps soldiers and families before, during, and after deployment. John J. Morris says that many Minnesota churches “do peace and justice advocacy on behalf of veterans, calling the leadership of the church to action in support of military families.”
Military Missions Network, an organization that reaches out to military people and families worldwide, lists military friendly churches and churches with a focused military ministry. However, not all these churches have anything on their church website (at least not easy to find) that shows how they understand or reach out to those in the military.
“The church needs to be more visible in lives of the military. We’re so vulnerable, always dealing with death and worry. Even for a person who’s not a Christian, a church can be a non-threatening environment if you’re sponsoring something to bring soldiers together,” says a combat veteran who asked to remain unnamed.
So, if your church wants to do military ministry, make sure people know about it—and be clear that you welcome anyone, not just members of your congregation.
Listen without judgment
“Well meaning and curious people often have the desire to ask about experiences when a person returns from a combat zone. I’ve been asked to tell during parties, at church picnics, at all sorts of events.
“However, once a service member begins to describe experiences, two things happen. One, those who asked are traumatized by the answer, and, two, the service member, by recalling the events, has just relived them again in their mind and, if severe enough, in their body. Now the picnic that was a re-civilizing, normalizing activity for them has returned them into a place they need to leave behind,” says Laura Bender, a Navy chaplain currently assigned to the USS New York, the ship being built with steel from the World Trade Center.
Bender adds that it’s fine to ask about someone’s time in the military. But consider your timing. “It’s better to leave those conversations to quiet times and places. Enter into them cautiously and without the service member feeling pressured to do so,” she says.
Herman Keizer says that simply being direct works well. “Be sensitive to possible things going on in them. But ask upfront, ‘Do you want to talk about your experience?’ If they say no, then honor that till they’re ready to talk. Others are willing to talk, and then you just have to be willing to listen,” he says.
It’s the listening that trips up some caring church members. “It’s really hard to love a soldier, especially someone that just came back,” admits a veteran of combat in Somalia, Afghanistan, and Iraq.
This anonymous (by request) soldier adds, “Don’t say, ‘I understand.’ Until you sit among burning bodies all day or have had to sight through a trigger and kill somebody, you cannot understand the guilt or other feelings.
“Greet soldiers with open arms. Be quicker to embrace than to judge. If you ask me, ‘How was your day,’ just listen, don’t analyze me. Open your ears, not your mouth,” he says.
Even being thanked for service can feel like a judgment. Some military members doubt you’d thank them if you knew all they’d had to do.
Remember, too, that people returning from war are more than the sum of their military experiences. Invite them for coffee, a meal, golf, a day at the beach…and enjoy life together without talking about war.
Be aware of PTSD and TBI
“The goodwill that the church earns now by helping families and reaching out with the common issues that soldiers face will pay off down the road, when some soldiers need to come to peace with what they did or didn’t do. And how the church helps families, from separation to reentry, will garner support later on, if families face more serious problems,” Morris says.
Though most people don’t return from war with a mental disorder, up to a fifth do, according to a Rand Study, “Invisible Wounds of War.” A Boston Globe story on this study explains that these disorders range from PTSD or TBI to depression.
Many psychological scars of war go untreated—for several reasons. Career soldiers may fear being stigmatized if they seek mental health treatment. Also, many deployed people are “citizen soldiers,” National Guard members and Reservists who get called up from their jobs in schools, clinics, and businesses. They return to civilian life, rather than to built-in support systems on military bases.
Finally, people at home aren’t necessarily looking for psychological scars among those who served in support units rather than in direct combat. But because insurgency forces in Iraq and Afghanistan use guerilla warfare with improvised explosive devices (IED) and suicide bombers, military support also get injured or see buddies or civilians massacred. Yet people with closed head wounds or TBI might not look visibly disabled.
The combat veteran explains that even after coming home, many soldiers feel they’re “always in survival mode, always on alert. It’s hard to sit still. When someone razzes you on the golf course or is obnoxious in a store, you go into attack mode.”
Though he says churches need to be aware of PTSD signs, he cautions not to judge based on the language they use when they come home. “Be aware of a soldier’s condition, like you might with someone who has cancer, but try not to treat them so differently from everyone else,” he says.
Keizer says churches need to keep making contact, especially three to six months after a military member’s return. When you see anger, reclusiveness, authoritarian behavior or other interpersonal relationship problems, it’s good to address the situation with “nonjudgmental warmth. Just be descriptive, like ‘Here’s what I just saw you do.’ ”
In his 2008 letter to Christian Reformed pastors and elders, Keizer wrote, “Among our returning veterans are men and women with progressive physical and psychological problems, with limited resources to assist them medically, and an increase in behavioral and interpersonal problems….
“Remember that the injury to the psyche and the brain is not immediately manifest and visible. Learn about government and private medical treatment in your local area so you can refer those in need of help.”
Learn More
Listen to brief audio excerpts from an interview with Herman Keizer on July 22, 2008:
- Applauding returning soldiers even if you disagree with the war, 4:18
- The difference between a preventive and preemptive war, 3:15
- On dehumanization and survival guilt, 3:14
- How to handle worship services on or near Memorial Day or Independence Day, 2:01
Listen to “The Soul of War,” a Speaking of Faith radio episode that featured John J. Morris, a National Guard chaplain. Read Morris’ Christianity Today article about reaching out to veterans.
See resources on planning worship in a time of war and PTSD and veterans and helped write a denominational report on war and peace. Here’s how your church can promote healing in war zones.
Laura Bender, a Navy chaplain member of the Trauma Research Group at Boston University School of Theology, wrote this helpful annotated bibliography while preparing a one-day workshop for civilian clergy who want to understand military issues. Use Bender’s war and peace exercise to clarify your thoughts.
Hear directly from veterans by watching The Ground Truth, an Iraq War documentary recommended by a combat veteran quoted above.
Check out Reformed Worship tips on flag use in churches and patriotism and politics in worship. Ever wonder how the Christian term glory became associated with the military? William Safire in New York Timesexplains the origin of the phrase “in harm’s way.” Military History Online has a similar explanation, though in a way that subtly justifies the current war.
Pray with discernment for Iraqi Christians, using these insights from Christians of Iraq, Ankawa, and an Armenian church leader.
“Ministering to the Military in Our Midst,” a free download from Virginia Baptist Mission Board, is an excellent guide to understanding military life and ministry. If your church participates in the Alpha evangelism program, then you’ll appreciate this advice on how to adapt Alpha for the Military. Learn more about sending Bibles or care packages to soldiers and caring for those left behind.
Educate yourself on how PTSD affects veterans of different wars. PTSD among the 190,000 women veterans in Iraq and Afghanistan is often related to being sexually assaulted or harassed.
Watch these online videos about issues returning National Guard veterans face. An excellent Los Angeles Times story reports on how Marines resonate with ancient Greek plays.
Browse related stories on biblical lament in worship, healing in worship, peace and justice, and praying globally.
Start a Discussion
These questions will get members talking:
- Which people in your congregation or church neighborhood are directly affected by military service? If you’re not sure who they are, how will you find them?
- On John J. Morris’ scale—of “wrapped in the flag,” “hate the flag,” or “muddy middle”—where does your church stand on addressing military concerns in worship or reaching out to those affected by war? How comfortable are you with this stance?
- Which first steps is your congregation especially equipped to take in ministering to soldiers and their families? Who might you partner with in developing or deepening this ministry?
Share Your Wisdom
What is the best way you’ve found to begin including war concerns in worship or ministering to people affected by military service and war?
- What has worked best—or not worked well—in your efforts to include war concerns in worship? As you compare these observations with peers in your region or denomination, what common themes emerge?
- If you’ve contacted or visited other congregations to learn about their military outreach, what did you learn? If you developed a template to help evaluate those visits and apply your findings, would you share that with us?
- Have you offered regular community meals and discussions based on books or videos relevant to military concerns? Did it work best to mix or separate military people and civilians?
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